Riker’s monthly visits to the vet are hard for him. After each visit, his fear of car rides comes back for a few days, and his tolerance for the other dogs at home decreases. He is not a resilient pup and I have to be careful about his stress levels. For the last year, we have had a handling plan that works for him: I hold him for his injection in the waiting room of the vet’s office.

At the latest monthly visit I was told that Riker’s handling plan would be different today. I wouldn’t be holding him for his injection and they would take him in back without me. I said no, that they wouldn’t be taking him into the back. I would have medicated him for that option. After some back-and-forth, we all agreed that I would hold him for his injection in an exam room.

I declined the new handling plan because I know Riker is better if he is with me. I know that the less stress I cause him with these visits means less stress all around. I know that it is okay to advocate for my dog – I make my living teaching people how to advocate for their dogs!

BUT…

I felt ICKY. Really icky. I know my vet’s office is overworked, understaffed, and really does care about me and my dog. I didn’t want to make things difficult or make the staff uncomfortable. It is very hard to say no to people, chance conflict, possibly upset them, and to not be a ‘good person’ as society tells us to be.

For reactive dog owners, advocating for them can mean setting boundaries with vet staff, random strangers, friends, family, or even your spouse. Not everyone is going to agree or understand, yet our dogs still need us to stand up for them, to protect them.

Some tips for advocating with people in public:

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No Is A Complete Sentence

• Say “No” kindly yet firmly and hold up your hand like a stop sign.
• Initially, do not offer any justification or explanation as this invites conversation and compromise.
• Once people stop, then you can explain your reasons if you want to. Or not.

You Do Not Owe Anyone An Explanation

• No one is entitled to demand a reason for why you said, ‘No.’
• No one is entitled to argue about whether they get to interact with your dog.

Use Body Language

Keep yourself positioned between yourself and the stranger, or just walk away. Did I mention that you don’t owe anyone an explanation?

Advocate For Yourself, To Yourself

We can practice all of this, and recognize that it is still hard and it is ok that it is hard. Sometimes things in life aren’t easy and we still do them. We deserve to have and maintain boundaries for ourselves as well as our dogs.

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Riker has anxiety around handling – always has, always will. I have put a lot of time into his handling challenges and now I can easily trim his nails, I can brush him in little sessions, and he is pretty good! When we first brought him home, I’d medicate him, muzzle him, wrap him in a towel, and my husband would hold him while I trimmed his nails – they were so long! Now, I take my time and he stands for me to do them, no muzzle, no restraint, very little stress. He has come a very long way in trusting me.

I will continue to advocate for Riker and I will continue to help people learn to advocate for their dogs. It’ll probably always feel icky, but I would feel much worse if I didn’t advocate for him and I let him be handled in a way that will set him back. I also deserve to advocate for my boundaries and not allow myself to be handled in a way that will set me back. Both of us deserve it.

Ever known a dog who would NEVER steal food from the counter … until the moment your back is turned? What about a puppy who sneaks off to pee behind a couch? How about a dog who steals your sunglasses and happily chews them to bits on your bed, out of sight?

Chances are, these pups were all trained to be sneaky!

We have all done this.. myself included. It took me way longer than I’d like to admit to learn this lesson. When we punish a dog (even just using a stern voice) for doing things we don’t like, we create dogs who still want to do those things but know not to let us catch them in the act.

When we wait until the dog has done the thing, then act, we are being REACTIVE. To best change behaviour, we need to be PROACTIVE… keep reading, we will talk about how to do that.

Dopamine

Did you know? The biggest hit of dopamine comes in anticipation, immediately before the dog (or human) acquires the prize, whether this is a rabbit, a pair of smelly glasses, that sandwich on the counter, or the thought of relieving a full bladder. This is true EVEN IF THEY DON’T GET THE PRIZE!

When we react after or as the dog is being ‘naughty’, the dog has already got that dopamine surge and is feeling pretty happy with themselves. This means they will likely do this behaviour again, even if we get after them about it!

Proactive Training

The best training is when we set boundaries and limit a dog’s ability to make “bad” choices. I use the quotes because we humans think counter-surfing and raiding the trash can is bad behaviour, but dogs don’t see it that way.

Helping dogs set good habits usually involves a lot of management and supervision while they are just learning. When a puppy or new dog is exploring their home, it is natural for them to look up on the counters. Keep your counters clear of food for the first 6 months. and your dog will learn that there’s no reason to look up there. Once you start leaving things on the counter, supervise your dog and redirect them or use baby gates or tethers to keep your dog away from temptation.

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